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♫ Let's all go to the lobby ♫ Let's all go to the lobby ♫ Let's all go to the lobby ♫ And extinguish that blaze ♫ (newson6.com)
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L.A. school named after Al Gore to highlight awareness of envionmental issues, bloated windbags (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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Iran gets past crucial nuclear threshold, third level of Battletoads (telegraph.co.uk)
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Photoshop these surfing Oktoberfest revelers (spiegel.de)
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18% of people think that the economy is just fine, that "Duke Nukem Forever" will come out in 2011 (consumerist.com)
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The coolest photos of the aftermath of the New Zealand earthquake you will see all week (crashbang.co.nz)
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A group of British women will paint ceramics with their nipples to raise funds, penises, for breast cancer research (lep.co.uk)
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The coolest interactive graph of what soldiers eat you will see today (nytimes.com)
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"Dispatch- this is Engine One, we're gonna need 2 tons of butter and 4,000 lobster bibs" (bangordailynews.com)
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Woman never even bothers to open boxes of great-great-granduncle's things stored in attic. Nephew inherits it all. Auction expected to fetch in the millions (boston.com)
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French police are fining British drivers over their lack of proper fashion sense (telegraph.co.uk)
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Bad things to bring in to show and tell: The pipe bomb you just found in the playground (bbc.co.uk)
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Teacher receives achievement award one day after female student performs oral sex on him. Now THAT one's going up on the mantle (heraldsun.com.au)
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Photoshop this body in motion (bigpicture.ru)
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Just like with the Wall Street bankers, Obama decides to favor a handful of Americans over everyone else (theadvertiser.com)
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Meet Edward Hernandez, a 24-year-old man stuck in a body the size of a 2-year-old. Clearly somebody has never heard of lube (telegraph.co.uk)
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Ticket camera company sues to block referendum on ticket cameras, saying that letting voters decide is a violation of those voters' rights (baytownsun.com)
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Just because you hooked up with some slut for a one-night stand doesn't mean you can't have a beautiful long-term relationship with her down her the road (usatoday.com)
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For no discernible reason at all other than "why not?", Englishman invents a dinner table capable of doing 100mph (bbc.co.uk)
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When 81 years you reach, be as cool as this guy you will not (chronicle.augusta.com)
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Schools are now posting caloric information in their cafeterias to help students make intelligent choices between "mystery loaf," "cardboard pizza," and "meat surprise" (washingtonpost.com)
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As close to a perfect Daily Mail headline as you're ever likely to see (dailymail.co.uk)
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If Buzz Lightyear was a guido (dailymail.co.uk)
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Any man that ever fumbled to remove a woman's bra in the past is really going to be fighting a losing battle now (myfoxorlando.com)
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Boston transit lost and found contains cell phones, limbs, breast milk, and lots and lots of bibles abandoned by riders convinced they were already in hell (bostonherald.com)
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WHO is already working on a follow-up album to last year's "Swine Flu Pandemic" flop, tentatively titled "Mass Hysteria 24/7: The Cable News Ratings War Solution" (foxnews.com)
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You know all those sappy stories about how everybody comes together to set up the wedding for the woman who's dying of leukemia? Here's what happens when it turns out she was full of shiat (recordonline.com)
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13-year-old boy finally beginning to master the use of his bionic hand. In unrelated news, medical researchers are developing innovative new ways to treat severe chafing injuries (telegraph.co.uk)
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Homeless in SF believe McDonald's is conspiring against them--by eliminating the Dollar Menu. Board of Supervisors calling for company to pay their "fair share", demanding new Equal Justice Menu (sfgate.com)
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Things you find in your back garden: tools, sheds, prisoner of war camps (swns.com)
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The coolest video about a wildlife reserve for cats you will see today (youtube.com)
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Some residents trying to change the name of their street. Apparently they don't want to live on Butt Hole Road (telegraph.co.uk)
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Photoshop these linemen (bigpicture.ru)
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You may be addicted to Twitter if you post a Tweet while you're having a heart attack and keep giving updates while doctors try to save your life (couriermail.com.au)
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While you are telling your summer guests to finally go home, here are 11 facts about Labor Day which you probably didn't know (huffingtonpost.com)
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Bad: you crash your car. Worse: your car flips over. Fark: you are cited for failing to keep the wreck in one lane (romenews-tribune.com)
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Seriously slow day over at CBS: Popping pimples is bad for your face. It's not new zits Fark (cbs2chicago.com)
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If you're dumb enough to put your junk mail on top of your Blackberry and your mom throws it all away and someone fishes it out of the trash, don't biatch and moan when Verizon expects you to shell out $6,000 for all the overage charges (consumerist.com)
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You know what they say -- people who live with glass front doors shouldn't throw swords at their wives. Or something like that (wivb.com)
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Police surprised to find multiple people willing to take credit for the five-foot marijuana plant growing in the backyard (boston.com)
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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting gunfire." "Interrup-" *BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM* (wivb.com)
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